I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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