He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
