i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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