No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
