i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
