The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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