His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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