all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
