Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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