i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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