Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize