everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
