Pants 0. Shit 1.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize