New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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