I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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