Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
