i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
