Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
