I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
