And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize