how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We left an ass print on the piano.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize