I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
