im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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