Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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