I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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