ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
