the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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