my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize