I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
