i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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