i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
