I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
