i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
