if you like me you must not know who I am
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
