She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don't tell me you're on acid again
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
