hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am mentally ready for anal.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
