He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
