is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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