I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
