i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize
