just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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