Where is the hickey?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she told me i tasted like america
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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