I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
