You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
