Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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