Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
