I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize