So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
