Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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