my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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