where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
