"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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