ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
