I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
