But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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