North Korea, Best Korea!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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