ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize