are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
