Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
