I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize