can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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