We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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