he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
