Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
