Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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