I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
