Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
