Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
