One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
