You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Drunk is not a location!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
