Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
