you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
