you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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