apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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