There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
