the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
