I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize