O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it's like heaven, but drunker
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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